Dollars in the bank- about 900
Amount owed to bill collectors- I’d imagine around 1200
Amount needed to fix both vehicles- 400
How much do I really have then? - Negative 700 (fuck, oh fuck)
Times told parents “I’m gay” via voice mail- 1
Days not called by upset parents- 14
Time felt tormented by evil principal Mr. Collins- 3 (much better this year)
Cases of gingivitis (apparently from losing toothbrush in van and not brushing teeth for a few days towards end of trip) – 1
Outstanding dental appointments- 0 (sigh…. note to self)
Vehicles properly working- 0
Vehicles posing threat to my own mortal existence- 2
Days to pay insurance bill before insurance is cancelled on both evil vehicles- 2
Bottles of alcohol left in freezer- ½ bottle of rum (need to budget that in…. note to self: buy more)
Husbands with big bank accounts- 0 (damn)
Boyfriends with big smiles- 0 (double damn)
Creeps who instant message me, wanting to be boyfriends with big creepy smiles: 4
Number of students who depend on me to forget this list so that I can teach them tomorrow, with nothing else on my mind but their education: 17
All in all, I’d say it adds up pretty well. Wouldn’t you?
