3:15- I walked into my room, finding the P.E. teacher standing in the corner of the room, monitoring my out-of-control class. I smiled to myself. I knew how to get this class in order.
"Class, everyone sit down, be quiet, and pretend you deserve theeesseee!" I smiled, holding out a tray of cookies I'd just boughten the night before. The class squealed with delight, rushing around to get to their desks.
It was then I looked over to see... on the phone.... a student with an extremely angry vengeful (according to the parents reporting to me that she talks behind my back) mother.
It is then that it me--- she probably just heard me say the words "sit down, be quiet, and pretend you deserve these!"- not a good quote when taken out of context. It sounds so mean!
Damnit!
3:20- Mr. Collins entered my room. "Mr. McManson!" he shouted. "Could I see you for a minute?"
'Wow,' I thought. 'That woman works fast. She's already told him what I said!'
But as I entered the hallway, I was soon to find out that the angry mother was NOT the one causing a bit of trouble for me. Instead... stood the woman I'd taken my children to only an hour and fifteen minutes earlier. She had come to our school to present to each of the classes the dangers of polluting the earth's water.
"He's the one who left me alone with the children!" she was shouting hysterically, pointing at me.
"What?" I asked.
Mr. Collins was red in the face, scowling at me.
"You asked me when you entered if you were to stay with those kids!" she screeched.
"Yes," I said. "And you told me to stay. I didn't know whether you were cleared to be alone with children or not."
"And I told you I wasn't!" she cried.
"I know," I replied. "That's why I sat down!" I looked over desperately at Mr. Collins, whose face continued to shine bright red. He gave me no sign of support.
"Why did you leave? I'm a guest! I'm not allowed to be alone with those children! They were terrible! They were awful! It was against state law for you to leave!!!!!" she screeched.
"Um... I had a planning period, with a meeting. That's why the P.E. teacher came to relieve me!" I protested.
"The P.E. teacher?"
"Yes!"
Mr. Collins now focused on her. "Was the P.E. teacher there?"
"You mean the man in shorts?"
"Yes," I said. "He was wearing shorts! He came in and told me I could leave."
Now stuck looking stupid, the woman resorted to a new measure--- "Well, well..... well.... he wasn't even helping me with the kids! He was leaving me unattended!"
"He left you unattended?" Mr. Collins boomed.
"Yes! He was wandering!"
"Wait a second," I interjected. "Was he ever not in eyesight of you?"
"Well... no.. but," the woman whimpered.
"Then you weren't unattended."
"Your kids were awful!" she said, changing the subject again.
"What? They were fine when I was there!"
"Well... after you left they weren't!"
By now my suspicions of the woman were raised. What in the world was wrong with this lady? My kids had acted perfectly fine when I was in the room.. and I could only assume they continued to behave when I left.
"Um..." I said, reaching for the door. "For my own documentation purposes, please come in here."
The skittish skinny woman, still on the verge of a breakdown, followed me in, proceeded by Mr. Collins. My class stared up at her, wondering why she was in their room now.
"Please point to the ones giving you trouble," I said calmly. "I'll deal with it."
For a moment the woman stared out at my class.
Then a minute later, she shouted at me, "I'm very uncomfortable! I'm a guest! I shouldn't have to sit here and point at kids."
I shot a look over to Mr. Collins. Anyone who ever had dealt with kids should be over the embarrassment factor for letting another know if the behavior wasn't up to par.
"If you're not comfortable," I said, "we can go back out to the hall." I ushered her back out. I turned to the class.
"Take off my ties," I told them, refering to the neckties all of them had borrowed from me. You see, it was red ribbon week, and Friday was tie day. The night before I'd stayed up late, rounding up all the ties in my apartment, to bring in and share with the kids.
I walked back out to the hall, and spoke with the woman for a few more minutes, trying to make sense of her story (later on to find out that our P.E. teacher had no problems when he was in the class either, leading the staff to believe that perhaps with woman just didn't know how to handle kids).
3:25
The minute the woman walked away (to go find the PE teacher to tear him up), I walked back into my classroom.
The sight I saw was unforgetable.
The kids were all shouting.
They were pointing.
They were dancing with horror!
To the side of my room stood Question Mark, his face blue, his hands frantically grabbing at his tie.
Question Mark..... was strangling himself with the tie, and didn't know how to get it off.
"Ahhhhh!" I screamed, running to him. I grabbed ahold of the knot, and pulled down.
It didn't take me long to realize that this boy couldn't breathe any longer, and that the knot wasn't coming out.
I drug him through the yelling mess of children to my desk.
I threw open the top drawer, and started pushing the clutter around, searching frantically. I finally found my large metal scissors, and opened them up.
SSSSSCHWING! The metal blades opened up in my right hand, while my left hand grabbed ahold of the tie.
"Mark!" I commanded. "DO NOT move!!!!"
He looked about ready to pass out. Maybe it was because of lack of oxygen. Maybe it was the sight of me with dangerous scissors.
The bell rang, signalling the end of the day, while I managed to wedge one metal black in between the purple neck and the tie.
I cut through the fabric.
My class burst into cheers.
I stared up at them.
"Get out of here! Go on!!!!" I shouted, not wanting them to be late for the buses (but moreso wanting them out so I could pass out).
All weekend, the final fifteen minute of my day on Friday have been stuck in my mind, replaying, reminding me of the messes I'll be coming back to Monday morning.
Moral of the story? - Teachers deserve better pay.
