If I were straight, the world would be great;
I'd get me a girl with whom I'd procreate;
I'd do manly things, I'd talk manly talk;
I wouldn't any longer enjoy watching other men walk;
I'd talk about baseball, I'd watch football each Sunday;
I'd drive my 5 kids to their games in a Hyundai;
I'd drink me a beer, I'd belch out a concert;
Crush the can on my head and pretend it don't hurt;
I'd slap my buddies high fives and buy them some shooters;
We'd lie about fishing, we'd eat at a Hooters;
In the art of barbeques I'd be quite conceptual;
I'd be your steak-burning, stomach churning, model heterosexual;
I'd rev my engine too loud, I'd tell stories of my old cars;
I'd lie about my dick size, I'll play pool in the bars;
Yes, my life would be different, maybe it's not too late;
Could I? Would I? Should I perhaps become straight??
